Anti - Adoption, Fake Emails and Other Shit That Is Annoying Me Today

I am going to mention this and then go right onto another topic.... My husband came home and asked me if I wanted to adopt a child from another area of the state. Someone we know is involved in this adoption and in the search for potential parents, our name came up. I don't even know how to feel right now.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, it seems my little blog here has become a forum for the anti-adoption brigade. For a few days now people have been randomly posting about their adoption situations. I feel sorry for those who have had their children stolen or are adopted and feel lost, but I was raised in a much better home than that of my biological mother. As a woman who was about to embark in an adoption (and still plan to one day) I think adoption is a blessing.

I think it is amazing how some of the people over in the Anti-Adoption forum where these people are lurking in from just automatically assume they are right. This line has been my favorite so far:

I am so tired of adoptees that say "I know that I would have had a crappy life...".  Okay, so the rest of us should be denied our rights because of your situation?  Let me get this straight, the oppressed need to remain oppressed because some of them are happy being that way?

I love it when people can only see things from their point of view. How about why should those of us who are happy be oppressed because some of them are not? Sorry you had a shitty life or whatever, but boo hoo lady. Don't go attacking the system because your adoption was shady or whatever. I guarantee had I been left with my birth mother I would not be here typing this today. I would be dead, in jail or too high on crack somewhere. And if adoption is so evil, what do we do with those children who are not wanted and sitting somewhere in a foster home? How about the mothers who don't have abortions who don't want their kids? Should they be left with her so she can treat them like shit because she never wanted the child to begin with? Why is it so black and white? The entire debate is pathetic.

If you get pregnant... and put your baby up for adoption and turn over all your rights for whatever reason, do not use my blog or my email to rant and rave on. You made the decision and I don't feel the slightest bit of sympathy for you. That is why we have condoms and BCP's, sponges and a shitload of other stuff. If you are suffering the loss of your child because you CHOSE to put him or her up for adoption than maybe you should have spent those 9 months thinking it over a little better... getting ready so you could have kept the child. If a 13 year old can have and keep their baby, there is no reason why others can not.

And you deranged so called Christians who claim we infertiles are STEALING babies because we adopted them let me suggest you seek out some therapy. That bit of garbage really chaps my butt. The nerve to imply that because I am infertile that God did not mean for me to have a child by any means is ridiculous and absolutely ABSURD. Get a fucking life people. No one is taking away children from their birth mothers... the birth mother is GIVING UP her child. And I will sure as shit refer to a child who is in their mothers womb as MINE. Ugh...  this topic really pisses me off so I just need to stop talking about it now.

As with anything, there will be bad experiences and there will be good ones. I may decide to adopt one day and end up with some birth mother from hell (like my very own) attached to my child for an eternity. If that were the case, I would NEVER want her in my son or daughters life. By no means of the imagination. Oh do not get me started talking about L....

And what is the deal with people and their fake emails. If you can't leave a real one, then how about you talk it all over in your head and that way you won't have to leave a comment. I know that is kind of harsh, but geezus... that is some annoying shit. I especially hate it when someone leaves a long rambling post that I would like to reply to only to discover the email is fake. I feel like I am in 8th grade all over again. If you believe in what you say so strongly, well then stand up for it and stop hiding behind some fake ass email address.

Can you tell today I am cranky? I was without internet AND cable for over 24 hours... Living in this town and not having an internet or a TV to watch is like slow torture. My DVD collection isn't all that great because I have Netflix so that was no help. I took so many bubble baths that I think I have some of it will come out of pores.

Then my daggone car broke down. They want 1200 buckaroos to fix it... HAHAHA. Ashley said he will spend the holidays doing it himself. Meanwhile we'll have to get a loaner or rental. I am not really worried about that because I don't go anywhere. Where is there to go here? No where. However, soon our IHOP will open and I will abandon any notion of a diet and pig out on their delicious pancakes on a daily basis. When Applebees opens I will really be in trouble...

What else is working my nerves? Oh, General Hospital and this whole Sonny and Carly splitting up for the 2949472743874387th time. WTF! We know they will get back together so enough with this splitting up bullshit and move on to some other couple I don't care about. There are other things on GH that are driving me crazy (Durant, Rick, Alexis, Alcazar, Connor, Emily, Nic and 100 other cast members... especially that Diego fool... ship him off to boot camp and lets move on.)

All right, it's time to do some house cleaning. Oh wait, can I do that if I didn't buy the house or acquire it all on my own?

Comments

[Moxie]

M, why are these lunatics so attracted to you? It boggles the mind.

Oh, and if anyone's going to counter with some "How's a teenager supposed to keep her baby?" stuff, I've got 3 words for you: Catholic Social Services. They will do *anything* to help a mother parent who wants to. Out of all the "pro-life" groups out there, the Catholics are the ones that actually put their time and effort (and money) behind supporting women who want to keep their babies and helping them parent.

[Terrence]

Moxie I couldn't agree with you more. I am a birthfather that knew and still knows that parenting at the age of 16 was an almost impossible situation. I came on line to talk with people in the same situation as myself. Instead I was treated to people who have "Sybil" like personalities who pretend to be something that they're not. They're so bitter when most of them make decisions that they felt was best for their children. I thought about my son first and foremost and still contend to this day that his bmother and I made the right decision. Then there's the adopotees that have driven themselves into the deepest and darkest holes while not realizing the effects that they have with the people around them. They're screwing with their children's minds in the fact that they're teaching them that bitterness is a way of life and if you're not bitter then you're not normal. I believe in adoption. It's a social institution that will not die. I would be happy to link sites to you on a personal level along with my own site where we've had enough of their rhetoric attitudes and have taken their posts and analyzed them to their fullest. These are sick women. Adoptive parents are special in the sense that they love a person who may not be of their own flesh as their own. Another thing that really bothers me about these women is they say that adoptive parents should pay to keep the original families together, but I'll bet you any amount of money that not ONE of them has put THEIR money where their mouth is. They're all talk and no action. All they can do is sit behind a computer monitor and write books, criticize anybody not like them and bash public officials for doing their job. As a birthfather I'd like to thank my bson's adoptive parents for loving him like their own. Good luck to all of you.

Terrence

[Jennifer]

"I love it when people can only see things from their point of view. How about why should those of us who are happy be oppressed because some of them are not?"

Since it was my comment that seems to have created some interest, how about I reply. My name is Jennifer and my email is and has been correct from the beginning. You make absolutely no sense in this statement. How would opening records and no longer forging birth certificates in any way "oppress" you? You have your information and evidently know who your natural mother is so why deny others? With your rhetoric about how wonderful adoption is you promote a system that steals identities. That is just wrong.

As for my life, it isn't crappy, it is very good. I have a wonderful daughter and husband and am quite content. However, there is a wound where my natural mother should be - it is possible to have pain and happiness in the same lifetime.

I am sorry you are suffering from infertility. This is something I have not had experience with but I do empathize with you. I don't think God had anything to do with it, at least not my God.

Jennifer

[jen]

Jennifer, I don't think Monique or anyone is advocating that an adopted child be denied knowledge of his or her birthfamily, or that a birthparent be forced into adoption if that isn't the choice they want to make. This is such a heated issue, and for all of us involved with any aspect of adoption, it's difficult not to get passionate about our beliefs.

The point is, there is a spectrum of birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees, with a wide variety of experiences from the nightmarish to the wonderful. Anti-adoption activists -- and yes, I'm generalizing here, and I'm sorry about that, but I'm drawing on the websites I've seen, which tend to the extreme -- seem to want to do away with a system which works for a lot of people, and works a lot better than it used to. It's not perfect, and there are many improvements that could be made. The solution isn't to get rid of it, but to work towards the changes that you think would be best. That's why we now have open adoptions, a society that's not ashamed of adoption, and single mothers and fathers who can choose to keep their children. Those things are all improvements over the secretive way adoption was handled in the past.

It's tragic that there is a need for adoption; it is a situation predicated on loss, and that's awful, both for the parents and the child. That's true in open adoptions, foster care adoptions, and international adoptions. There is a fundamental loss that has to take place, and we can wish all we want for a world where that didn't have to happen. I wish my daughter's birthmother didn't feel that she had no other choice but to leave her day-old baby in a detergent box outside a hospital in rural China. But the fact is, she did. Once that choice has been made, how would it serve my daughter to let her grow up in an orphange? Isn't it better that she will instead grow up with parents who will take care of her as her birthparents must wish they could have? By loving their child as much as I would love my biological child, I honor her, and I honor the parents who couldn't, for whatever reason, keep her. I don't doubt that she will have some difficult issues to confront over the course of her life, but she would have to deal with those wherever she grew up, orphanage or loving home. I would rather be there to help her through them. I would never deny her the right to look for them, if it were possible, and I would never discount their importance. They gave her life: her shiny black hair and beautiful eyes, her talents and quirks and the shape of her feet, that all comes from them. They gave her life. We're giving her the chance to live it.

[Christina]

"How would opening records and no longer forging birth certificates in any way "oppress" you?"

Monique never said that opening records would opress her. She has personally told me that she is all for adoptees having access to their records. I am sorry if you are unable to contact your natural mother, and I know Monique is too, so please stop bashing her for being happy with the way her life has turned out.

[Caroline]

You infertile myrtles are the pathetic ones! It's supply and demand, sweetie, and trust me, if you infertiles with raging senses of entitlement were not out there trying to beg, borrow, and steal other people's womb-fresh babies, there would not be a market for them, thus no big fat fees, thus vastly reduced numbers of adoptions.

And, you can count me among those who do, indeed, believe that if you are infertile, so sorry for your luck, but that means you GET OVER IT, move on, get a puppy from the animal shalter if you feel the need to adopt something. Anyway, infertility is usually the fault of the infertile. So, did you leave an STD untreated, or did you decide that you could fool mother nature and wait till you were 41 to start trying to conceive? Or, did you marry an infertile man? Myself, I am soooo fertile that I had to ask the doctor to tie my tubes following the birth of my last child, conceived easily when I was 36. You'll never need a tubal, sweetie! Hee hee hee. I bet that really DOES "chap your ass."

Oh, you might like also to know that I am in a wildly succesful reunion with the son who was STOLEN from me when he was a baby. Yep, he even lives with me now, wishes she had never been adopted, and has nothing to do with her ice queen adoptress and maniac male adopter. I guess I ought to write them one day and than them for babysitting, but the truth is, they were not that great of babysitters. Anyway, I have my hands full taking him to therapy and helping him heal from the horrors of being separated from me, his REAL and ONLY mother. (You will never be a mother! An adoptress, maybe, but never a mother.) All is well, as she is now ensconced with her true family. She knows the truth of what happened, and she knows I never wanted to lose her. We may be filing a civil suit against the agency and the social wrecker who facilitated that train wreck, because we have discovered some of the typical shady crap that goes on in the strange, dark world of adoption.

My wish for you is that you THINK you have a baby all lined up, that you have a fake "shower" (so pathetic!) for your barren little self, and then the REAL mother decides to do what is right and to keep her baby. Actually, I hope this happens repeatedly. Anyway, human cloning is on the horizon, and since you self-centered infertiles seem to want little carbon copies of yourselves more than anything else, that should be a dream come true for you.

I also hope that your husband finds a more fertile vagina in which to deposit his sperm, and that this real woman gives him dozens of babies!

Feel free to email me all you want. It's real. I am not one iota afraid of people who cannot perform a simple human task like procreating. Evidently, mother nature does not feel that your DNA needs to be duplicated, dear. You need another woman to do it for you. Do you need a colostomy bag to take a dump, too?

[Terrence]

Caroline,

That was downright rude and very inconsiderate. Go crawl back under your rock at Anti-Adoption Insights because you're not wanted here. I'm really concerned about your mental state. I already know who you are. Don't make me out you here, but if you post your BS one more time, I will. I've forwarded my URL to show everyone about Anti-Adoption Insights and their people of a cult like substance. Once again, I am a birthfather with the uttmost respect for adoptive parents. I will not watch you and your cronies go from place to place bothering people who stepped up to the plate and took care of your children when you were unable. Does that make you feel good knowing that everybody knows that you were too immature to care for a child and that you all go around promoting unnatural and perverse things with your children. I'm fertile alright and still hate your stance on adoption. That will never change. So, now go crawl back under your rock you beastly B**ch.

Terrence

[Monique]

Caroline,

All I can say is that you are one crazy bitch. You might want to figure out it if it is a son or daughter that you had this wonderful reunion with cause you seem to have it all mixed up.

And so you can rest easy, I have never had an STD, nor am I 41.... I am quite young actually and I have been pregnant. Sorry to disappoint you.

I suppose you are currently using a colostomy bag and that is why you are so familiar with the subject.

With Love,

Monique

[Tami]

"They're all talk and no action....As a birthfather I'd like to thank my bson's adoptive parents for loving him like their own."

Now look who's all talk and no action? Another birthfather who copped out of his responsibilities and laid it on someone else.

[Christina]

"...And, you can count me among those who do, indeed, believe that if you are infertile, so sorry for your luck, but that means you GET OVER IT, move on, get a puppy from the animal shalter if you feel the need to adopt something. Anyway, infertility is usually the fault of the infertile. So, did you leave an STD untreated, or did you decide that you could fool mother nature and wait till you were 41 to start trying to conceive? Or, did you marry an infertile man?..."

Oh wow! I never knew that 19 was too old to start trying to conceive! I never knew that I had to worry about STD's when neither my husband or I have had another partner. I never knew that marryinging a man with a below average sperm count was a problem (especially since neither of us knew the status of his testicles when we married). I never knew IT'S ALL MY FREAKING FAULT! (Because really, freaky hormone levels that were inherited from my grandmother and mother was something I should have decided against accepting while in utero.)

Thank you for not only showing me the error of my infertile ways, but also for reminding me that a person who can't even remeber if she is raising a son or a daughter can obviously do much better raising said child. Because you are fertile, you are fit to parent! You better go see a doctor before you shove your head so far up your ass that you get lost in there.

[Bella]

"Because you are fertile, you are fit to parent!"

Because someone is infertile doesn't entitle them to someone else's baby just because they can't have their own.

[Duskus]

Adopters pick and choose what they want to adopt, unlike real parents who don't pick and choose their children.
Adopters don't want older children - their not good enough.
No !!!
Adopters want healthy newborn babies - someone else's newborn babies.

A mother mourning for her own child, her own flesh and blood is natural - it's NOT a sign of a sick/ mental illness, - BUT someone who fantasizes a baby growing in someone else's body is theirs, imagines a newborn baby is "out there-somewhere waiting" waiting for strangers, pays money to buy a baby but denies it's not buying a baby, and goes through life masquerading as mommy to someone else's child is surely mentally ill.
Babies want their own mommy's not infertile strangers who want to take them from their own mommy.

[Terrence]

Tami,

Shrug on my responsibility? I don't think so. You have no clue as to my situation. This was a decision that was based on love between two teenagers. There was no pressure for either of us from parents, adoption agencies, etc. We did what we felt was best at the time.

What makes you think that you'll be a better parent because you can give birth? I know lots of so called "birthparents" that parented their children and shouldn't have. In fact, they shouldn't have even had a dog. They weren't fit. For you to judge all these women here and not consider another's feelings is absurd and very childish. What are you doing to help? NOTHING!!! The only thing I see you doing is bitching and going from site to site starting trouble.

The world is not perfect and never will be. My girlfriend and I are content with our decision and don't regret relinquishing. We wish that it didn't happen at all, but that's not realistic and we faced the facts.

So this stepping up bit and laying it all on the man is bullcrap. Why lay it all on the man? It took two to have sex and make a baby. And relinquishing and making that decision was mutual. Not one sided. So stick that in your little bonnet.

Terrence

[Emma Jane]

Monique, I'm so sorry to see these idiots posting here, just carrying out their own desperate battles. Thank you for your honesty about your own background; sometimes all we can be sure of is that no experience is ever universal.

[Yolanda]

"You infertile myrtles are the pathetic ones! It's supply and demand, sweetie, and trust me, if you infertiles with raging senses of entitlement were not out there trying to beg, borrow, and steal other people's womb-fresh babies, there would not be a market for them, thus no big fat fees, thus vastly reduced numbers of adoptions."

Hmm . . . I guess the same could be same of you Christina - if some women would stop being irresponsible and stop giving their children away to other people, there wouldn't be a market. If you had stepped up to the plate and been a real woman, you wouldn't be such a bitter looser, and a waste of space on this planet, and if there was no supply, there wouldn't be a demand.

"Oh, you might like also to know that I am in a wildly succesful reunion with the son who was STOLEN from me when he was a baby. Yep, he even lives with me now, wishes she had never been adopted, and has nothing to do with her ice queen adoptress and maniac male adopter. I guess I ought to write them one day and than them for babysitting, but the truth is, they were not that great of babysitters. Anyway, I have my hands full taking him to therapy and helping him heal from the horrors of being separated from me, his REAL and ONLY mother. (You will never be a mother! An adoptress, maybe, but never a mother.) All is well, as she is now ensconced with her true family. She knows the truth of what happened, and she knows I never wanted to lose her. We may be filing a civil suit against the agency and the social wrecker who facilitated that train wreck, because we have discovered some of the typical shady crap that goes on in the strange, dark world of . . .

Oh - and this - sounds like genetic sexual attraction to me. It's common knowledge that at least one of your Anti members is carrying on an incestous relationship with her adult son she gave away for adoption, maybe you are too, sure sounds like it. If your son's got problems, it's probably something you did to him, you sound like some kind of real nutcase.

"Stolen" right, keep dreaming honey. Whatever helps you feel better about yourself. You gave your child away, and there is nothing that is going to change that.

You may want to check your e-mail before you send it, paragraph three refers to your son and then the next sentence refers to your daughter, which is it, which did you GIVE away, son or daughter??

[CJD]

Moxie said,
"Catholic Social Services. They will do *anything* to help a mother parent who wants to. Out of all the "pro-life" groups out there, the Catholics are the ones that actually put their time and effort (and money) behind supporting women who want to keep their babies and helping them parent."

If Catholic pro-life groups really were about respecting life they wouldn't advocate adoption as the ONLY option. Just look at the Catholic pro-life websites. They DON'T support mothers and children. They don't even vote for candidates that support mothers and children.

God help the poor mother deceived by believing Catholic Services would help her parent her baby. She is a sinner in their eyes. She doesn't deserve her baby. Her baby must be "saved".
Catholic Services has done and will do *anything* to take her baby so they can sell it to adopters. But ooops! that would be selling human beings and the public must not see it this way, the focus must be on the tears of joy in the eyes of infertile adopters as they hold someone else's baby. We must say adoption is a beautiful thing and God's way of fixing infertility.

We must call the transaction of recieving money "a donation or a fee" for the service of providing a desperate infertile couple with a healthy fresh newborn baby. Because we all know nobody wants older children available in foster care.

Since World War II Catholic Services has it's own history of severing babies from their mothers because customers lined up outside their door wanting healthy babies.
Hundreds upon thousands of mothers and their babies CRY FOR JUSTICE. And even if groups in the Catholic Church of the USA who think somehow heaven is waiting for them -
won't hear that CRY - GOD WILL !

[Sonetka]

CJD, funny - I used to volunteer for CSS and I remember putting together a lot of baby layettes, food baskets and cans of formula - all given to single moms who were down on their luck. Oh yeah, not to mention helping refer them to job training programs and sometimes assistance with rent. If you think we talked about them as "sinners" you're a moron. We felt bad for them and wanted to help them through their rough patch: there was NO Cotton Matherish ranting or insistence that the baby be adopted. Oh yeah, so evil. But what would I know, I only worked there.

Oh, and Christina - I'm infertile. I started trying when my husband and I were 23; neither of us had ever slept with anyone else. Too bad I inherited a hormone condition IN THE WOMB which made it impossible for me to ovulate. Totally my own fault, I know! I shouldn't have committed whatever sin it was that I committed at three months' gestation, that's for sure.

Have fun glorying in your fertility, ladies. It's sad that that seems to be the main thing you're proud of, considering that you yourself had NOTHING to do with it. It's like being proud of yourself for being born with two eyes. You call us pathetic. Too bad you can't see yourselves.

[Sonetka]

Oops! Sorry, Christina, I meant the second comment for Caroline, not you. Frickin' progesterone :).

[CJD]

>>>>> If you think we talked about them as "sinners" you're a moron.<<<<<

You obviously have ignored and haven't listened to the millions of mothers who are testifying "how" their babies were/are taken for adopters. Mothers who wanted their own little babies then the pro-life movement has the gull to label these same taken adopted babies as having been "saved" when they were never in danger of abortion to begin with.
Liars. Thou shalt not bear false witness.

-----
>>>>> But what would I know, I only worked there.<<<<<

Obviously you don't "know". Comments like yours demonstrate how your caught up in looking for applause. { Hey ! Look at me, see what I do.}
Reminds me of a volunteer who got her name in a huge newspaper article as helping single mothers. She called bingo at maternity home and donated a few picture frames to give as prizes. Big deal !!! The mothers didn't even have cameras, least of all, been able to afford film for a picture to place in the frame. But that didn't matter, she was a do-gooder, doing "gooooood". Maybe she should just donate pictures of herself. This self-glorified volunteer was quoted as saying "these mother need to be disciplined".

-----
>>>>> It's sad that that seems to be the main thing you're proud of, considering that you yourself had NOTHING to do with it. ....You call us pathetic. Too bad you can't see yourselves.<<<<<

Okay, so God opens and closes the womb. Those with closed wombs think GOD TELLS THEM it means take someone else's baby instead because they just know "HE WANTS" them to be a mommy.

Adoption does not cure infertility. Infertility is not an entitlement to take someone else's baby.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors child.
Thou shalt not steal.
Thou shalt not bear false witness.
Thou shalt not kill. (as in taking someone else's baby and killing the mother off without the blood.)

[Trish]

I stumbled on this site as I was looking for an antidote to the pro-adoption articles at www.cnn.com. As an adoptee who was separated from my family for over 34 years, I certainly understand the other side of things. I used to say all the right things, all the politically correct things about adoption. I used to try and believe it was wonderful. It never quite made sense to me though to think that giving away a child was some kind of noble act. Nor did it make sense that taking someone else's child and pretending it's your own seemed "wonderful."

Things really came together for me when I found my mom and dad. In my search I came across a lot of mothers, and some dads, who had lost a child to adoption. As I began listening, I began hearing what my own mom and others like her had gone through. A few months after I found my natural parents, I finally felt comfortable bringing my own child into the world. I was no spring chicken, so to speak, so I had no idea if I'd be fertile or not, but fortunately, I was. Having my own child has connected me to my family and I can't imagine pretending that my adopters are related to my children, as I pretended growing up that I was related to them. I recently signed my third child's birth certificate using my true family name, the one on my original birth certificate, not on my falsified one. In the rare cases where a child truly needs a guardian, that child's adopters need to allow the child to keep his or her true name.

My heart goes out to all infertiles, but had I been unable to have children, I would have found other avenues to help children. I could not find it in my heart to take away a child from his or her mother, from the person that God and nature intended the child to be with. My goal is to help keep mothers and children together, not to tear them apart.

Tricia
Reunited Adoptee and Natural Mother

[rob]

Wow. I didn't think people like Caroline existed. She is almost a cartoon character.

For some reason, I'm not even offended by her comments because they seem so unreal, that I can't digest them as truth.

Surely, nobody in the world is this evil (and, frankly, stupid) in their thinking.

[rob]

And, then I read Trish's comment... my wife and I are currently adopting. Quite frankly, I had no clue that there was an anti-adoption faction like this.

To Trish: you would have preferred being raised in an orphanage?

My eyes are wide open.

[jen]

I know I keep saying this (I wrote an entire post about it here, if anyone wants to leave Monique alone and come troll me for a while) but why why why is it so hard to understand that SOME PEOPLE ARE HAPPY and SOME PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY and one thing does not cancel out the other? It's not black and white. Not much in the world is, you know. No one is saying that all adoptions work out and are successful, so can't you concede that some do, some maybe are the best thing, and all we can do is do our best for the children in our care, whether biological OR adopted? Not all children raised by their biological parents are happy either -- but no one takes that to mean that biological parents shouldn't raise their own children!

And Tricia, I'm truly sorry that your childhood wasn't wonderful. A lot of people's aren't, you know, whatever their relationship to the people that raise them. If yours was truly so bad that you don't want your children to have anything to do with your "adopters", that's tragic for all parties. I'm a stepmom, and my parents have no biological relationship to my stepson whatsoever -- didn't even meet him until he was five or so. But he is their grandson. They are his grandparents, and he well knows it -- he's certainly just as spoiled by them as any other grandchild! So it's really difficult for me to understand this strict definition of family as being only those related to you by blood. I think that's a very narrow and sad way of looking at the people around you.

And while you say that you would have been ok with finding "another way to help children" if you hadn't been able to get pregnant, let me say, as someone who has been there, that you really don't know what you would do until you're there. It boggles my mind that the people the most loudly proclaiming that infertiles should accept their fate and believe that God is trying to tell them something are the people most pleased with their own fertility, like that proves something wonderful about them.

[kat]

"Mythic conception"--that's the term psychologists use when potential adopters believe that someone else's baby is destined to be theirs. Adopters believe the biological mother is only physically pregnant, but they themselves are emotionally and spiritually expecting.

People who speak of being destined to take custody of someone else's baby obviously need help. To put ANY claim on another person's baby is simply bizarre. Moreover, it denies the fact that biological mothers are the ones who, in acutality, are emotionally, in addition to physically, pregnant.

[Alana]

This really has had me thinking. I wonder how these Anti-Adoption people feel about the orphaned Chinese baby girls that are abandoned by the side of the road or in boxes or what not. How they are little babies whose Mommies didn't want them and are left to rot or even die in the orphanages they are left in. Is it wrong for someone who is infertile to want to nourish them and love them and give them a life to live? Or were they really meant to be born then abandoned? Do they count? So much of what I have read here seems like such nonsense. Do people really feel this way? I mean the hate spewed about a person wanting to adopt. Or do they just get off on being nasty and seeing what kind of rise they can get out of people? Are they really Christians? I thought the idea of God was more about loving thy brother and sister. The nature of this really has me confused. I am sad that there seem to be so many people full of hate and meaness. I think that adoption is a gracious thing. I certainly don't think woman who choose to give up their infants do it for the sake of money and supply and demand.